5 kinds of people you are sure to meet on Mumbai buses

The” Maximum-city” has a lot of little things that annoy you on a daily basis and some things that really touch your heart. Travelling in the public transport in this city is one way of getting a taste of the daily life here, amidst the crowds of people who are always in a hurry. Mumbai is a fast moving city, everyone is running somewhere or the other, but even in this busy life of theirs, Mumbaikars always find a way of touching your heart. There will always be someone to help you up when you fall down or to nurse your wounds when you are hurt or even help you find your way when you are lost.

Those bright red BEST buses are an important element in the Mumbai scene. Often overflowing with people, these buses are an important part of an ordinary Mumbaikars daily life.

 I have enlisted the five kinds of people you are sure to meet in a Mumbai bus. Here they are:

1)      The delicate chammak challo: These ladies definitely don’t know how to walk in their three inch heels. Neither can they simultaneously keep their handbag on their shoulder while trying to maintain their balance. They are thrown across the length of the bus every time it makes an abrupt stop. They also drag the people standing around them to the floor. People sympathize with this kind and prefer to give up their seat instead of having them fall all over them throughout the length of the journey (This is a nice strategy to get a seat though).              

2)      The over-inquisitive aunty/uncle: These people want to know everything from your parent’s profession to your educational qualifications and salary if you are employed. God forbid if you are in the same class as their distant relative or you’ll be tortured with an hour long description of their daughters cousins neighbors  best-friends son’s academic excellence (These people are adorable and great companions  in a boring journey).

3)      The creepy kid: I personally despise this type. These kids take a sudden liking to you and expect you to coo at them and love them back. They make weird baby sounds with drool dripping out of their mouths and hands reaching out to you. These cunning brats wave at you and start bawling their eyes out if you don’t wave back. Their parents are complete ass-holes themselves and give you the stinky face as if you are the cause of all the miseries in their offspring’s life.

For the record, I never wave back at such kids and I definitely don’t coo at them. It’s better to educate them about the disappointments in life. Hmpf ;)

4)      The “loud-speaker”: This person has incredible vocal talents and can address the entire bus despite all the noise as if everyone has gathered to listen to him. They can just shout out to their friends living in another country, but choose to phone them instead. They are a pain in the …. and should be arrested for noise pollution.

This category also includes the people who like to play music on the loudspeaker mode. Yes I understand that it’s a long journey and you are bored, but please spare me some peace of mind because I am too tired to listen to the songs from Dabangg.

5)      The helpful  angels: These people are my favorite. They sometimes give up their seat for you when you look exhausted or when you are carrying too much luggage with you. They tell you that the bus is about to reach your stop when they notice that you are new to the place. This also includes the conductors and the drivers who take the trouble of helping you locate your destination and also give you a detailed description of where to go once you get out of the bus. Some drivers stop right at the place you want to get off at if the bus is relatively empty and wait patiently till you get out. These people are the reason why I have always managed to find my destination and never felt lost.

There are many more kinds of people that we encounter in Mumbai buses, but I have highlighted only the top five that I see on a regular basis during my journeys. These BEST buses are the essence of Mumbai and you can’t call yourself a true Mumbaikar if you haven’t travelled in them. All sorts of people from different walks of life travel in these buses and if you are ever scared of climbing on to a crowded bus, there will always be someone who tells you -”Hop on board, we’ll adjust.”